maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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