if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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