i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
