I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
