she looked like the bat from fern gully.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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