how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
