She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize