all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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