Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
