So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish i was in the wii world.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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