You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
