God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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