I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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