apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
