HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
