just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When are your genitals available?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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