when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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