ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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