she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
