my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
