If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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