Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
