Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize