Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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