yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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