I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
