I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
