Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
