I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
