dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think my vagina is haunted
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
