What a fucking waste of an outfit
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
