2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
