we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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