I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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