I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
