U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
