she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
