Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize