He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
