i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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