I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
