He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
and you fell through a lawn chair
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
