And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
