They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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