Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
