Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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