Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
this boner is exhausting
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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