Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
