I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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