Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you win again, gameday.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
