ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
