ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
