I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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