I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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