And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize