It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
