I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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