Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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