it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize