They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
