i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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